One important point I wish to point out in Karmamudra – An Essay is in the book, “The Tao of Sex” the main point of relationships is to balance one another’s energies.
Sex is a balancing of energies. There are many fluids in the partner which one wants and will balance one and heal one. One wants those fluids (and other energies) and these include everything, but in particular saliva, secretions of the breasts, etc. The sex organs are highly capable in absorbing these fluids and energies.
Kissing is a lot about drinking the partner’s saliva. You can stimulate that production of salive and sort of milk it. It is something of a race to do so. A contest. One can be very aggressive at times to gain the upper hand. The upper hand is when you trap the partner’s tongue and suck it down your throat. Relaxation on the partner’s part is what really releases the saliva so gentleness and caresses are just as important. Getting your partner very relaxed a a precursor to a session is very much desired. A massage or some such puts one in a wonderful position. That is true for everything. The couple’s contesting with the tongues, either slow or hard, is an endless source of joy and pleasure. All of the inside of the mouth is a field of wonder including the springs from which the ambrosia saliva flows. The tongues become like the center of the universe, as do the lips, inside of the mouth, even the teeth. The Chang book does a good job of elucidating all of this. See Chang book.
Another field of glory are the breasts. This can take the partner to new levels of arousal and pleasure, although women differ somewhat on this. Who knows what can be awakened with a bit of care and love? It is a large potential field of wonder. One important point is that the fluids which can be coaxed out of the breasts are precious and highly desired. Both parties can benefit a great deal from this. You are really remiss if you do not get a lease a drop or two. You may get a great deal but it is all sweet and like nothing else.
Again consult the Chang book. It’s all about alternating shallow and medium and deep thrusts, including variation in speed and angle and heaviness. I will quote a bit from the book.
“Six styles of thrusting
1 Make contact and press down the jade peak, shuttling back and forth, sawing the jade substance as though one is cutting open an oyster so that one may reach the sparkling pearls. This is the first style.
2 Thrust down to the jade substance and pull up by the gold gully (the clitoris) as though slicing off stones to find beautiful jade. This is the second style.
3 He uses his jade peak to thrust hard in the direction near the clitoris as if an iron pestle is pounding a medicine mortar. This is the third style.
4 He moves his jade peak out and in, hammering at the left and right sides of the examination hall (sides of the vulva). As if a blacksmith is shaping iron with his five hammers. This is the fourth style.
5 He jabs his jade peak back and forth in short and slow thrusts inside the vulva, as if a farmer is preparing his land for late planting. This is the fifth style.
6 The jade peak and the jade gate are grinding heavily and closely, as if two avalanches are mingling. This is the sixth style.
Tao of love and sex; nine types of thrusts:
- Strike out to the left and right as a brave warrior trying to break up the enemy ranks
- Move up and down as a wild horse bucking through a stream
- Pull out and push in as a group of seagulls playing on the waves
- Use deep thrusts and shallow teasing thrusts, alternating swiftly as a sparrow picking the leftovers of rice in a mortar
- Make deep and shallow strokes in steady succession as a huge stone sinking into the sea
- Push in slowly as a snake entering a hole to hibernate
- Thrust swiftly as a frightened rat rushes into a hole
- Poise, then strike like and eagle catching an elusive hare
- Rise and then plunge low like a huge sailing boat braving the gale”
A lot of it is a delicate balance between retaining one’s ching (semen) and bringing the woman along nicely through 4 orgasms.
One does the best one can and one will progress. The efforts made are returned a millionfold. It seemed like I would fail every time and yet every session was better than the one before. It’s hard to believe and yet it was true.
It’s all about the cul-de-sac. That is better than money in the bank.
You can make a woman come 3 times with your finger and finish her off even with a less than stellar effort. If you outdo yourself then the sky is the limit. Ask Sting and Trudy. 8-12 hour sessions, on average.
An important point for the woman to absorb and remember. Once the man comes, he is essentially worthless. A dead soldier. He just wants to go to sleep or be depressed. He no longer views the woman as a sexual object (a high meaning is meant here). Before he adored and would do anything for her and now she is nothing to him until he can recharge. He is spent as a force within the context of the karmamudra. A woman must change her way of thinking and not allow the idea of the man’s coming to be desirable. It’s a bit of a disaster. Fellatio in that context is a bit of a no go zone, except for some young men but even then, count what is lost.
Maybe as a consequence of an old man’s impotence but even then, less is more. Perhaps as an exercise in the indirect method. In many ways, much of all of this is about the indirect method. I have a essay on that which I will make easy to find. That is important as well as the concept of coquettishness.
The Kama Sutra is good for that. The Kama Sutra is wonderful for many things but the tone of coquettishness and being indirect are sublime. I am enthralled by the concept of the shampooer. I think all of us could benefit from the mindset of the shampoer, an esteemed and highly valued person in antiquity.
A shampooer is a combination of many professions in todays world. Hairdersser, masseuse, confidant, sex worker.
Here is a passage from the kama sutra, using a parallel concept of the eunuch and the idea of playing hard to get. Coquettish. Indirect.
“ Chapter 9 Kama Sutra
Of the Auparishtaka or Mouth Congress
The following eight things are then done by the eunuch one after the other:
The nominal congress.
Biting the sides.
Sucking a mango fruit.
At the end of each of these, the eunuch expresses his wish to stop, but when one of them is finished, the man desires him to do another, and after that is done, then the one that follows it and so on.
- When, holding the man’s lingam with his hand, and placing it between his lips, the eunuch moves about his mouth, it is called the “nominal congress.”
- When, covering the end of the lingam with his fingers collected together like the bud of a plant or flower, the eunuch presses the sides of it with his lips, using his teeth also, it is called “biting the sides.”
- When, being desired to proceed, the eunuch presses the end of the lingam with his lips closed together, and kisses it as if he were drawing it out, it is called the “outside pressing.”
- When, being asked to go on, he puts the lingam further into his mouth, and presses it with his lips and then takes it out, it is called the “inside pressing.”
- When, holding the lingam in his hand, the eunuch kisses it as if he-were kissing the lower lip, it is called “kissing.”
- When, after kissing it, he touches it with his tongue everywhere, and passes the tongue over the end of it, it is called “rubbing.”
- When, in the same way, he puts the half of it into his mouth, and forcibly kisses and sucks it, this is called “sucking a mangoe fruit.”
- And lastly, when, with the consent of the man, the eunuch puts the whole lingam into his mouth, and presses it to the very end, as if he were going to swallow it up, it is called “swallowing up.”
Karmamudra – An Essay
Striking, scratching, and other things may also be done during this kind of congress.
The Auparishtaka is practiced also by unchaste and wanton women, female attendants and serving maids, i.e., those who are not married to any body, but who live by shampooing.
The Acharyas (i.e., ancient and venerable authors) are of opinion that this Auparishtaka is the work of a dog and not of a man, because it is a low practice, and opposed to the orders of the Holy Writ, and because the man himself suffers by bringing his lingam into contact with the mouths of eunuchs and women. But Vatsyayana says that the orders of…….”
Anyone who can do that is like a goddess to me.
Another important topic is scratching, biting, striking, and marking with nails, This is covered well in the kama sutra. Nothing is more thrilling or memorable than the skillful use of the nails, etc. My nails, especially on my little fingers, are a precious, precious power and wonder. And I am just a novice. Whatever is done to you, you must do back and more. It is an endless dance of joy and creativity. This is explained well in the kama sutra.
Maybe it is an acquired taste but you will eat it up.
It is so thrilling to be raked with the nails during the heights of arousal but anytime during the arena of the karmamudra. Just a little reminder of last night’s events by a touch of the nails is beyond delicious.
There’s a lot that could be said but maybe that can point a person in the right direction.
Four joys. It is the highest wisdom. There is nothing higher than that.
To be so admired and adored by one’s great love is a great job to have.
The opportunities for warriorship, rulership, enlightenment, fun, humor, true masculinity and feminity bliss, emptiness and embodiment are endless.
Please consider these things. It all comes out of the cul-de-sac. Accomplish this and the rest is already accomplished.
Excerpt from the Keesling book.
Excerpted from “Super Sexual Orgasm”
by Barbara Keesling, pp 7-12
INTRODUCING THE KEY TO PLEASURE: THE CUL-DE-SAC
The key to super sexual orgasm lies within a small passage of the vaginal canal, just beyond the cervix, known as the cul-de-sac. As is so often the case with labels, the name of this passage belies the truth, for this cul-de-sac is no dead end. To the contrary, this small section of the vaginal canal is so extraordinarily rich in sensitive nerve endings that the slightest contact with a man’s penis or sex toy can trigger an instantaneous orgasm so powerful, so shiveringly all-consuming, and so absolutely delicious that it practically defies description (though the phrase “lightning bolt” does come to mind!).
This cul-de-sac passage is the gateway to total erotic pleasure. And the “cul-de-sac response” that is triggered during penetration is the secret that is about to change your life. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? It is simple. Beautifully simple. But here’s the problem: While every woman has a cul-de-sac, not every woman can make this super-charged part of the vaginal canal “available” during intercourse. For most women, the weight and positioning of the uterus tend to compress the vaginal canal at the entrance to the cul-de-sac passage, creating a daunting vaginal roadblock. This most unwelcome obstruction tends to make the special cul-dc-sac passage a closed road, inaccessible to penetration by the penis during intercourse. The penis (or dildo) may reach, but it cannot enter, and as a result, the most potentially gratifying erotic experience any woman could imagine remains just out of reach. Out of reach, that is. until now.
Over the past several years I have worked with my colleagues and clients to develop a simple program of exercises and techniques to give a woman the necessary strength and control in her uterus and vagina to actually lift and flatten the uterus during intercourse, to “fan” the vaginal canal, and open the cul-dc-sac passage to penetration. The result: super sexual orgasm in the cul-de-sac passage for any woman who has the desire to make it possible.
This program is included in its entirety in Part I. It begins with exercises to build necessary muscle strength and control (Chapter 2). It continues with exercises and techniques to help you capture necessary body motion and positioning (Chapter 3). And it culminates in a powerful synthesis that will bring you to your first super sexual orgasm (Chapter 4).
SUPER SEXUAL ORGASM IS A CHALLENGE EASILY MET
The program I have just described may sound complicated or daunting. It may even sound absolutely exhausting. But it isn’t. The entire program can be completed in less than a few weeks, practicing only minutes per day. Minutes! It’s fast, it’s fun, it’s sexy, and it’s foolproof. It all feels fabulous, and it’s truly easy. Best of all, it will give you the potential for a lifetime of pleasure.
And if it all sounds a little too good to be true, you should know that there are a substantial number of women who have already experienced super sexual orgasm. While some of these women are clients who have learned the secret of the cul-de-sac from me or one of my fellow clinicians, most are not. Like Pam. whose story I’ve already told you, these are just very lucky women—lucky- because their uterus lifts and flattens naturally and automatically when they are sufficiently aroused during intercourse, and the exquisitely sensitive cul-de-sac becomes open to penetration.
While the majority of these women may not know the exact details of what is happening within their vaginal canal to make their orgasms so powerful, what all of these women do know is the explosion of sensation that is triggered by intimate contact with their partner’s penis in this very special passage.
Many of these women actually believe that their orgasms are perfectly normal. After all, it’s normal for them. And these same women are almost always surprised to learn that other women don’t experience half of the orgasm that they can experience regularly during intercourse. But the fact is that the vast majority of women are nowhere near as lucky as this relatively small group of “natural” success stories. The fact is that the vast majority of women could have intercourse for an entire lifetime without ever experiencing any of these exquisite sensations. But that doesn’t mean they have to. Today, every woman can experience super sexual orgasm, and I am going to show you how. But first, I want to talk to you about arousal and orgasm.
Maybe you already know everything there is to know about the physiology of arousal and orgasm. But my clinical practice has shown me that many women are positively mystified by both processes. Some of the explanations I’ve heard are so wacky I’d swear I was hearing excerpts from a stand-up comedy routine.
You see, we take our birth control pills, have our diaphragms or condoms at the ready. We have our copies of Our Bodies, Our Selves hanging around the house somewhere in case we need to look up something in an emergency. We think we are pretty much sexually self-responsible. But how much do we really know? It’s like the people in the old days who considered themselves to be well-informed when they thought the world was flat: There was a gap between reality and their understanding of it. And there is a similar gap between the reality of what it takes to be sexually well-informed and many women’s understanding of their bodies.
Now fortunately, we have the information about what happens during arousal and orgasm. The issue isn’t lack of details on this matter. The issue is that most women have seen no reason to obtain this knowledge. Somehow we get aroused, have an orgasm, and that’s that. As for the rest of what’s involved? Whatever.
No more “whatever.” The motivation for knowing is here. In order to work toward increasing your orgasmic ability to an SSO level, you need to have a complete understanding of your sexual functioning. During your SSO you are of course not going to be saying, Now there goes this and there goes that. But to get to that point of total release and abandon where you are not paying attention you have to pay attention in the beginning— starting now.
Aroused and Aware
When you become physically sexually aroused, blood moves from the periphery of your body to the center, especially to the genital area. The vulva and clitoris enlarge and sometimes become a deeper red or pink. Usually you become lubricated: Fluid is produced inside the vagina and along the inner lips by the increased blood flow in this area, causing the tissue walls to “sweat.” You may have noticed you have little to no lubrication. Do not be alarmed. Some women just don’t and instead rely on oils from baby oil to KY jelly. (Remember, if you have a minimal lubrication reflex do not let your partner stimulate you until you apply oil, otherwise you will find yourself experiencing pain and irritation.)
You can try to stimulate and increase your lubrication reflex—the glands called the Bartholin’s glands—by slowly caressing your clitoris, inner and outer lips, and perineum. Gently rest your fingers alongside the sides of the vaginal opening halfway between your clitoris and perineum. Steady but light touching of this area will help stimulate the Bartholin’s glands. In addition to arousal in the genitals, your body’s experience of arousal can include faster, deeper breathing, increased heart rate, and a psychological feeling of pleasure. Note, however, something you may have experienced yourself from time to time: You can be aroused physically but not psychologically. The body’s experience is only half of the equation, and this is something that both women and men need to be fully cognizant of. Otherwise, there is great room for misunderstanding and confusion.
Reaching the Climax
There are a number of ways in which women have orgasms. Stimulation of the clitoris, for instance, can produce orgasm. Some women can also have one from fondling their breasts, especially the nipples. Other areas that can trigger orgasm include the cervix; the opening of the urethra; the G-spot, located on the upper wall of the vagina; the cul-de-sac (soon to be your new best friend); and the pubococcygeous (PC) muscle (much more on this area in particular in our next chapter). Some women experience orgasm with no physical stimulation at all. They can wake from an erotic dream and have one.
Before continuing with this discussion about climax, let’s take a quick look at the physiology of intercourse. During penetration, your PC muscle will tighten around the penis, vibrator, or dildo, and the vaginal walls will tighten as well. Penetration can also cause rubbing up against the G-spot, cervix (which some women find pleasant while others do not), the cul-de-sac (if the uterus flattens and lifts), and the ovaries. If this last possibility occurs, especially during ovulation, you may experience great discomfort, even pain. During penetration, the vaginal walls may be caressed. They contain striations or “rugae” that when rubbed can actually be felt as bumps by both women and men. In addition, parts of the vagina may balloon out or tighten during intercourse. Despite the existence of so many body areas in which orgasms can be triggered, many women have never experienced a single climax. Still others remain confused about what is actually taking place. Even’ woman, of course, experiences her orgasm in an idiosyncratic way. but generally having an orgasm goes like this: The muscles around your uterus and cervix spasm so that your abdomen sucks in or flutters. You may expel some air from your vagina. Your blood pressure, heart rate, and breathing all reach a peak. Your neck, arms, and legs may spasm involuntarily and moments later so does your PC muscle. You may feel a tingling sensation in some parts of your body and a warmth that moves from your genitals up to your chest, neck, and face. All the energy created in this process is then rapidly discharged as you feel physically and psychologically released. For the same woman orgasms can vary in intensity. Some may include only PC muscle spasms and a mild, good feeling. Others may be so strong they cause your body to arch off the bed.
I am going over all of this with you because I want you to be confident and comfortable in the knowledge that all orgasms, regardless of magnitude, occur in the same way for every woman. This includes super sexual orgasms. It is not a question of some women being better at orgasms than others. Your body gives you what it has and whatever it is should be appreciated as a beautiful, loving experience. What is important, and why you are reading this book, is to open yourself completely to your maximum orgasmic capacity and delight in it to the hilt.
Craig Thompson is a long time dharma student with a background in Tibetan Buddhism, Shambhala Buddhism, Tai Chi Chuan, Kyudo, Alexander Technique, golf, weapons, and jin shin jyutsu (energy medicine). My teachers are Chogyam Trungpa, Osel Tendzin, Sakong Mipham, and Will Johnson. Www.alexandermind.com